This advice is from Sunday school -优秀是训练出来的 (10)- on 3/10/19 at Michiana Chinese Christian Church (MCCC).
Must training child’s will/endurance/grit.
Videos watched during the class
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mrrupYsGkaU
Grit is what predict success.
How to training such that it follows the Bible’s principles? We cannot ignore this when training our kids. Just moral principles cannot change kids’ grit/will. What is special about “will”? It needs belief. Using threat to make someone to do something, it is actually breaking his/her will. If no belief, “will” can be broken by peer-pressure, desire, and other corruption. Ignoring “will” is another case, i.e. in a fire, you without asking your kid, you take him/her out of the danger. Think about the relationship between God and us. God does not mandate us to believe him (otherwise there would not be non-believers). So we also want our kids to have a “strong will” to do the right thing. Example of a kid not wanting to do homework and father asking him to put down the toy and do homework, then the battle of will starts; no matter who wins, there will be problems. To avoid this type of situations is to train their will. The right way to solve the example is to lovingly advise the kids, offers kids options “do you want to stop playing in 5 minutes or stop playing in 10 minutes”. If the kid says 1 hour, then the dad should say that 1 hour is not in the choice set, and warn the kid that if he/she choose among the two available choices, dad will choose for him. Remind him again, lovingly. Make sure that always offer options that are not extreme, “giving away the toy or never play again”. In addition, after making the decision, they must follow it and you must not back down. You can also use the counting method, 1 means that kid has a choice, 2 means that kid has no choice and must follow, 3 means that he had to obey immediately. God does not want us to be robots.